Pouring My Heart Out Again

When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I knew this would be my last pregnancy because 3 was my limit. I hoped, wished, and prayed that I would get at least one girl because I wanted a little girl of my own. My mother and I have always been so close and I wanted that same relationship with a daughter of my own. The day the ultrasound tech told me that one of the twins was a girl, I was so happy that I cried.

She is six years old now and I love her, but I really don't like her very much. Every day is a difficult day with her. She whines about everything, she doesn't do what she is told, she does things that she is told not to do, she talks back and gets an attitude with us when she is told to do something. She intentionally tries to make everyone mad; her brothers, her father, and me. She's annoying and I feel like the most horrible mother in the world for saying this, but I don't like to be around her. It's a constant struggle with her. I even talked to her ped. about it once,  he asked me a bazillion questions and he didn't think there was anything wrong with her, but just that she wants attention because she's the youngest, the smallest, and the only girl. I don't enjoy being around her.

I have tried everything with her. I have tried time outs, taking toys away, spanking, taking away privileges, sitting down and talking with her, but nothing works. She is still in that self centered world of hers where she thinks the entire world revolves around her, and she acts as if she just doesn't care about anyone else. It's all about HER. I do think a lot of it is for attention and I've tried to give her some one on one time. The last time my mom and I took her on a "girls shopping day", she complained the whole time, "this is boring".. "come onnnn", so she ruined it. When she IS good, which is rare, I try to give her extra hugs and kisses and tell her how proud I am of her to try and reinforce the good behavior. None of it works. I'm at the end of my rope.

This situation makes me so sad. I wanted a daughter that I could be close with, but I don't even like her most of the time. She's not fun to be around. When we try to do fun things, she just whines or acts up and makes it miserable. Her brothers are no angels, but she is just so much worse. I want to enjoy spending time with her. I want to be able to enjoy doing things with her, but she makes it miserable.

I'm worried about the future. I'm afraid she's going to grow up hating me, and that I'm going to resent her. I don't want to have that sort of fucked up relationship with her. I want it fixed but don't know what else to do. She cries when she gets punished for something, but then will just keep doing it over and over. I'm thinking about not giving her her xmas gifts, but leaving her a note from santa saying she has to be good to "earn" them because she hasn't been good. We've tried using the "santa is watching you" thing, but she doesn't care. I think I need super nanny to come and save me. Sometimes I just break down and cry.

Customer Service My Ass

Don’t you just hate having to call a utility company? For whatever reason it may be, you never know if you are going to get someone nice or someone not-so-nice. The majority of the time, the latter one is what you end up getting.

I had to call Time Warner Cable two times in the past week. I had to call them a few days ago because they shut my cable bill off for $7. Seven fucking dollars! Reeeaallllyyy? The first woman I talked to was a grumpy ass right away, arguing with me. I would say, “are you telling me that you turned my cable off for $7?”... 


“no maam, it was turned off because you still have a balance of $7”.. isn’t that what I just fucking said??????? Somehow the call got disconnected, so I called back and talked to another woman who was fairly helpful and gave me 3 days to pay the fuckin stupid $7.

Sooo, today, my husband is watching TV and out goes the tv.. again. I call and the first woman I talk to said it got turned off because I didn’t pay it AT a Time Warner Cable Office, I paid it at one of their pay stations.. you know, a grocery store, instead of driving a half hour to pay fucking $7! These pay stations take 5 - 7 days to post to the account. How am I supposed to know this? Am I a mind reader? Do I know everything? I kept telling her that it was not MY fault that it takes so long! She wanted me to drive a flippin half hour to go show the cable office my receipt! Instead of just taking a receipt number like other places do. Ahem, I finally get frustrated and ask to talk to a supervisor. I wait.. and wait.. and wait... the woman gets on and right away had an attitude with me. I swear to the devil it was the same fucking woman I just talked to. I swear they had the same name and the same voice. This one was supposedly a supervisor, but she was a complete bitch. Like I said, she had an attitude as soon as she got on the line and it didn’t get any better once the conversation started. We argued back and forth and she did nothing to help me. I told her she had an attitude as soon as she got on the line with me, but she said she didn’t. I said, yes, you are right.. I lied, I made it all up, you were nice as pie!! WTF! When we got off of the fun I said in the most condescending sarcastic voice possible, “thank you soo much for your help and for your sunshiney personality, it was a pleasure, and you have a wonderful day!”

Look, I’ve worked in customer service and in sales. I know what it’s like to deal with people all day long. I try to be polite to everyone. When telemarketers call, I politely tell them I’m not interested instead of being rude or making up some stupid ass story that some people think is so freakin hilarious to do (btw, telemarketers laugh at your dumbass when they hang up.. as if they hadn’t heard any of those before!). I only get an attitude if they are rude to me or do something to piss me off.. then it’s on!

Don’t be a fucking rude ass bitch if you work in any kind of customer service job. Customers call you because they are obviously mad about something. Your job is to service the customer; make them happy, not be a fucking belittleing (is that a word) little twat bag. If you don’t like your job, there are thousands of people out of work that would be glad to take it from you.