Pouring My Heart Out

I decided to join in the fun for Pour Your Heart Out (click on the button), because I really am not a bitch 24 hours a day, and there really is a heart buried deep down in there and I like to let it out once in awhile!



I'm going to pour my heart out about my husband. We just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago. Seven years sometimes seems like 20 years. We have been through so much together. We have separated twice; the first time was the lowest point of my life, ever. I was a wreck. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, all I did was cry (but I lost 25 lbs!). We were separated for 9 whole months; that sounds like such a long time. We got back together for about a year, and then the same thing repeated itself except the second time I handled it very well, and we ended up only staying apart for about 3 months. We just can't seem to really stay apart from one another, we always come back.

My husband has been my rock throughout most of the past 8 years (been together for 8). He stayed with me both times in the hospital while I had our babies, he took care of me when I couldn't take care of myself. He wouldn't leave my side. I have been such a bitch to him at times. I blame myself a lot for our two separations. My head was so fucked up and I always took it out on him. I was paranoid about everything he did. I would blame him for things all of the time or just be a plain bitch to him. Once I realized how many problems I was causing, I got on medication which has helped a lot. Don't get me wrong, I still have my bad days, especially every 28 days, lol. I can some times be a real bitch and complain about the tiniest of things. Once I realize that I'm doing it, I get scared that I'm going to chase him away again.

My husband busts his ass working to take care of our family. He is a great dad. He helps me around the house (most of the time). He helps with the kids. He loves me for ME. He thinks I'm beautiful. He gets angry when I say anything bad about myself, like calling myself fat. He doesn't go out with his friends all of the time like some husbands do. He does everything he can for our family and I know how much he loves me. I just wish I didn't take that for granted some times. I don't want him to question my love for him. I know how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband as him.

Does Marriage Mean Anything?

A few nights ago, I was watching the local news when a story came on about a new social networking/dating website that specifically targets married people. Their tagline was even something like, "life is short, have an affair". I'm not even going to mention the companies name because they don't deserve recognition on my blog! I am disgusted by this. When is it ok for married people to casually cheat? Does marriage not mean anything to anyone these days? What's the point of getting married if you are just going to cheat throughout the marriage?

This company had millions of users and Ohio had the second highest member rate in the country. What is wrong with people? They interviewed the guy who started it, he's happily married and says his wife has no problems with it. Well, of course she has no problem with it, you are probably a millionaire! How could you feel good about yourself when you are promoting and glamorizing infidelity and breaking up of families? Can you feel proud of yourself, or feel like a success knowing that you are causing other people (including children) so much pain and heartache? What happens if an upset husband decides to come after YOU because you started the damned thing? HA, then you would get what you deserve!

So, I'm looking for some opinions here. What is your opinion on websites like this that promote cheating? What does the word marriage mean to you? Some people think marriage is just a piece of paper while others believe that marriage is forever, through thick and thin. How many of you believe that marriage is supposed to be forever? Maybe I'm old fashioned in that sense, but when I got married it was to be forever, and even though we have been through Hell and back, I still imagine growing old with my husband. Marriage is not easy, and there will be temptations, but you have to be stronger than the temptations if you truly love and care about your spouse. Do you agree? Tell me.