No good title, really!

My boys!

My twins

River pic
I didnt post last week. I was really busy all week and it's the end of the month so I was trying to work as much as possible. Today is the first day of October. It has finally begun to feel like fall. I don't really have a point to this post today, just going to babble a bit, lol! It's Monday, it's been raining most of the day, it's cold, it's dreary and I don't feel like doing anything! This past week was kind of a rough one. My husband and I were bickering all week. He is stressed out because of his stomach problems (he has an appointment with a surgeon today in a half hour). He's afraid he wont make it through surgery and if he does make it, he will find out that it's cancer. He has been taking his stress out on me and being an ass lately. I haven't been sleeping much because of everything. Things are going better now. We did a lot of talking and I'm hoping we can work through this together. We split up last year and it was soooo hard on me and I'm terrified that it is going to happen again. We have also been stressing about money. We are barely scraping by now, I dont know what the Hell we are going to do when he is off for 6 weeks. We can probably get some kind of temporary disability but that will most likely only be half of what he makes now..there is no way that we will be able to make it unless I get a job outside of the home while he is off and he takes care of the kids all day. Ugh, I hate this crap! I know he needs the surgery but I have no clue how we will pay our bills and rent!

Anyway...Im ready for Halloween! My son just started preschool and they are going to be in the Halloween Parade here but we have to walk with them throughout the parade. Im excited for that! We can take our twins, too..They are all going to love it!...Im not ready for winter to get here though. I despise winter. The cold, the snow, the ice. I hate having to bundle up in 10 layers of clothing just so I wont freeze and having to bundle up 3 kids every time we go anywhere. Blah, blah, blah, I guess I'm in a bad mood. My depression has been coming back. I really do need to get into a doctor and see if they will put me back on the Cymbalta but when can I go to the doctor? lol We have no sitter for the kids. My mother in law works 2nd shift. I want the F out of here!..We are thinking about moving back to my hometown. I have always despised that town and was soo happy when I left there 7 years ago and I cant believe I actually want to go back! I hate it here. We dont really have any friends here. We have no one to watch the kids here. We have already had our cars broken into and all of our stuff stolen. If we moved back to my hometown we would have so many friends there to hang out with and we would have people there that could watch our kids once in awhile. We are thinking about using our income tax to move back and just live off of that until he can find a job in the area. It's going to be hard to find a place that will accept a big dog though. Most landlords don't allow dogs or if they do they have to be small ones. We have a sweet as sugar pit bull that everyone is scared of but he is just a big baby!

I decided since it's the first of the month and I feel so tired anyway I'm just taking the day off from work and I am doing things online that I have been wanting to do but just havent been able to find the time. Just wanted to throw a little update in here since I don't do that very often.

We enjoyed the weather this weekend and Saturday we took the kids to a park by the river. We went on a little walk there and the kids loved it and so did we! I'm going to throw a few pics up just for the Heck of it! My babies are all getting soo big. The twins will be 3 on Friday and our older son will be 4 next Tuesday! My sons teacher has been trying to talk me into putting the twins into preschool as soon as they turn 3 but I dont know if I want to do that yet. They arent completely potty trained yet (almost, just have a few accidents here and there)..and they would end up having to stay in preschool for 3 years if I start them this early. The deadline for kindergarten is that they have to be 5 by September 30..so they will be 5 days late and will have to wait until they are almost 6 to go. I dont know. I'm still thinking about it. I have plenty of time. Even if I do decide to start them now I will have to take them to their Pediatrician for a check up and to the dentist for a check up. When I took my son for his dental check up it was a month before they could even schedule him in!

Ok, I'm getting tired of typing, so here are the pics! (Argh, I wish we could put pics at the END of our posts not always at the beginning..so the pics are up top)..