My 30th birthday is in just a few weeks now (April 9..mark it on your calendar!). I've always felt young. I always felt like a kid, but now I'm asking myself where the time went?
Thirty? 30! Thirty freakin' years old! I still don't feel like a "grown up". I still love to laugh and act silly and goofy when I can. Adults always seem so boring and serious all of the time. Yes, I am 29 years old, married with 3 children, working every day to take care of these children, but I still feel like that dorky little kid in 9th grade sometimes. I see other people I went to school with that seem so grown up and as if they have it all together but yet even though I am the same age, if not a tad older, I still don't feel like an ADULT!
I'm sitting here thinking about the kids I went to school with that had babies at the young age of 15-16 years old and now their babies are teenagers! Holy Hell! My kids are still just babies and I can't even imagine being my age and having teenagers to deal with!
The other day I was looking through myspace browsing for people in my town and I came across an old neighbor kid. He was young, around the age of 5. He used to wait for the school bus to drop me off and then he would follow me home and bug the Hell out of me until I got fed up with him and sent him back home! I found him on myspace. He's now 18 years old and a good lookin' kid! What happened to all of this time? Where did it all disappear to?
Sometimes I feel like I have missed out on so much. What happened to my twenties? Thirties just sound...old. I remember when I was a kid watching that show, "Thirty Something" and thinking it was about old people! Now I am one of those old people and it's really depressing! My friends are turning old right along with me and we are no longer the young crazy kids that we used to be. We all have families and *gasp* responsibilities. The days of staying up until 4:00 in the morning doing nothing but just talking and laughing are long gone. Sleep is one of my favorite pass times these days and I want to grab every minute of it that I can get!
I miss the days of being care free, doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Now, I'm asking myself what I have to look forward to now? Where are the thirties going to take me? Arthritis? Wrinkles? Being on the other side of the teenage drama years (the horrid PARENT!)? Are my kids going to make fun of me for being old in their eyes? Laughing at me because I don't know every teenage slang word? Hating me because I wont let them stay out after 10pm? Is this who I have become?
Oh, God Help Me.... I'm Old!!