Pouring My Heart Out Again

When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I knew this would be my last pregnancy because 3 was my limit. I hoped, wished, and prayed that I would get at least one girl because I wanted a little girl of my own. My mother and I have always been so close and I wanted that same relationship with a daughter of my own. The day the ultrasound tech told me that one of the twins was a girl, I was so happy that I cried.

She is six years old now and I love her, but I really don't like her very much. Every day is a difficult day with her. She whines about everything, she doesn't do what she is told, she does things that she is told not to do, she talks back and gets an attitude with us when she is told to do something. She intentionally tries to make everyone mad; her brothers, her father, and me. She's annoying and I feel like the most horrible mother in the world for saying this, but I don't like to be around her. It's a constant struggle with her. I even talked to her ped. about it once,  he asked me a bazillion questions and he didn't think there was anything wrong with her, but just that she wants attention because she's the youngest, the smallest, and the only girl. I don't enjoy being around her.

I have tried everything with her. I have tried time outs, taking toys away, spanking, taking away privileges, sitting down and talking with her, but nothing works. She is still in that self centered world of hers where she thinks the entire world revolves around her, and she acts as if she just doesn't care about anyone else. It's all about HER. I do think a lot of it is for attention and I've tried to give her some one on one time. The last time my mom and I took her on a "girls shopping day", she complained the whole time, "this is boring".. "come onnnn", so she ruined it. When she IS good, which is rare, I try to give her extra hugs and kisses and tell her how proud I am of her to try and reinforce the good behavior. None of it works. I'm at the end of my rope.

This situation makes me so sad. I wanted a daughter that I could be close with, but I don't even like her most of the time. She's not fun to be around. When we try to do fun things, she just whines or acts up and makes it miserable. Her brothers are no angels, but she is just so much worse. I want to enjoy spending time with her. I want to be able to enjoy doing things with her, but she makes it miserable.

I'm worried about the future. I'm afraid she's going to grow up hating me, and that I'm going to resent her. I don't want to have that sort of fucked up relationship with her. I want it fixed but don't know what else to do. She cries when she gets punished for something, but then will just keep doing it over and over. I'm thinking about not giving her her xmas gifts, but leaving her a note from santa saying she has to be good to "earn" them because she hasn't been good. We've tried using the "santa is watching you" thing, but she doesn't care. I think I need super nanny to come and save me. Sometimes I just break down and cry.

Women Annoy Me!

Before you get your granny panties in a bunch, let me say that most women annoy me, not all, only most. Why? Because most women are catty, attention starved twats that need bitch smacked a few times.

What mostly inspired this post was my experience on a social networking website called myyearbook.com. It's really not much different than myspace. You make your cute little page, add photos...etc.. Every time you add a photo it shows up in everyone elses chatter feed. This is where the dumbness starts. These women (are they even considered women??) post pictures of themselves in just their underwear and a bra, or the entire pic will be just a super closeup of their cleavage. Of course, this attracts men and men begin leaving perverse comments *gasp*. Oh no! The woman gets so offended, and "oh my gawd, do men not have any respect for women anymore??". Like, seriously? Any woman who puts a close up of her tits on a place like myyearbook is just BEGGING for attention and these kinds of comments. I mean, are they really that starved for attention that they have to show their boob crack to the entire world? I don't blame the men for leaving comments like that, they are only doing what is natural. If you are going to show your body off like that, don't act offended when you get comments like that! Derrrr, it's not rocket science.

Then it got me thinking about other females. I do have a few female friends, but honestly, most other females annoy me. They are either so completely dramatic (refer to my previous post on drama queens) and have to make themselves the center of attention, or they are just down right bitchy and a know-it-all. I'm sure you all know the know-it-all type. The one who thinks she knows everything and if you don't do everything the way that she does it then she thinks you are an imbecile and will try to make you feel that way.

I also don't like prissy girls who are afraid to touch or do anything because they might mess up their hair or nails. Get a grip, chicks! I see no point in getting a pedicure or a manicure. I think it's a waste of money. Or what about fake tanning? Hey yeah, let's sit in a fake oven and cook our skin so that in 20 years our skin will be disgusting looking and we may be dying of skin cancer! It's all fake, fake, fake! Why be fake? Be yourself!

I hate bitchy women, too. The kind that have no sense of humor and even when you try to joke with them they give you the evil eye *scowl*. Did someone poo in your cheerios this morning, sweetie? Lighten up and enjoy life. Stop being rude to everyone and maybe people will actually want to be your friend.

Last, but not least, the women who should have never, ever become a mother. The ones who only care about going out and partying while leaving their baby with someone else every other night. The ones who pop out 345682356 kids because they have no clue what birth control is but yet they want to cry when they become pregnant for the 20th time. The moms that never grow up and end up raising bullies that think it's ok to be mean to others and call people names because they see their mom do it. Women that keep their kids away from their dad just to "get back" at him.

Wow, this post got long winded, but yeah, most women annoy me. I would say, 97%?