Here's to 2009!

I hope that everyone had a great Christmas! Mine was good.. I enjoyed seeing the kids so happy with all of their gifts from Santa!

I'm looking forward to the new year. I'm hoping that 2009 is going to be a good year for us. We have some changes coming up in 2009. I'm hoping to start working in some sort of animal shelter and/or vet's office in the Spring.. it may just be volunteering for experience at first.. but it is the second stepping stone to a good career for myself! The first step being starting school!

In the fall my oldest will start Kindergarten.. and it all begins: homework, girls. teachers, blah! They are in preschool now but preschool is pretty laid back. Thankfully my son is not interested in girls that way yet. I was a bit worried when I remembered that my first crush and first "kiss" was when I was in preschool! I still remember his name.. it was Joey.. but I was too shy to even talk to him, haha! But Joey wasn't the one I kissed.. that was Jason! LOL.. but anyway, I'm off track now!

It's just hard for me to believe that my baby is 5 already and my twins are 4! What happened to these 5 years?? I know these past 5 years have definitely been stressful. There have been a lot of ups and down throughout them. A lot of heartache and a lot of learning experiences. I know that I have grown a lot over the past 5 years.

Oh and we also have a trip planned for next year. We hardly ever go on trips and this will be a road trip which I LOVE! My sister in law moved to Virginia a few years ago. My husband has been there to visit but I have not. I'm constantly being reminded of how beautiful it is down there.. so we are going to plan on going down there in the Spring sometime! yay!

Speaking of my husband.. still not sure where we are headed. We are in marriage counseling now.. it has helped ME a bit.. but my husband really isn't putting much effort into it. Guess he thinks that physically going to counseling is enough?

But anyway, I do hope everyone has a safe New Year's Eve.. and I'm wishing everyone a positive happy new year in 2009!

While I do some updating...

I'm going to spend some time trying to update our links section.. so in the meantime, I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday spirit, lol! I wanted to share this:
.. feel free to send me a xmas gift! :o)


I'm going to post some random videos here and there when I feel like it!

Pit Bulls: vicious or innocent??

When you hear the words Pit Bull what do you think of? Do you think of some big vicious dog that is ready to tear your face off?? WHY does that picture come to your mind about Pit Bulls? Have you had a personal experience with Pit Bulls or are you just going by what the media portrays Pit Bulls as being?

There's a lot of controversy these days regarding Pit Bull dogs. The media portrays them as being this vicious horrible dogs that will eat your face off if given the chance! Do you know that the only reason the media talks about Pit Bulls is because they are strong and powerful.. and in the wrong hands can be TAUGHT to fight and be mean? Have you ever been around any Pit Bull in your life?? If you have ever been around a well trained Pit Bull you will see that the stereotypes are a crock of SHIT!

I have an American Staffordshire which is considered a Pit Bull breed and is on the "vicious" list.. however, if you do research on Staffordshire's you will clearly read that they are defined as being great family dogs and are considered "nanny dogs" because they look after the children in the home! Does that sound vicious to you?? I don't think so. I've had a lot of dogs in my lifetime and my Staffordshire is THE most well behaved dog that I have ever owned. He follows commands, he even follows sign language commands! He stops any bad behavior with a simple stern "no". He is GREAT with our children. You can pick at him, poke him, even sit on him and he will not even growl. All he wants to do is please us and be next to us whenever possible. .. And other Pit Bull breed owners would say the same thing about their dogs, guaranteed!

Why do Pit Bulls have such a bad rap? Because stupid humans breed them and train them for fighting. They are very strong and powerful dogs and can cause damage because of this.

Don't believe me? Did u realize that the American Temperament Testing Society did tests on 122 breeds of dogs and Pit Bulls scored HIGHER than Beagles and Golden Retrievers?? Did you know that a Labrador Retriever will bite faster than a Pit Bull will?

I'm on a mission to educate people on Pit Bull breeds. Stop believing what the media tells you! You should all know by know that the media is full of crap anyway!

I live in the state of Ohio. There is currently a proposed law to ban vicious dogs. The proposed law states that if an officer sees any dog that he suspects to have any TINY bit of Pit Bull in it the dog will be confiscated and Euthanized within 10 days. Are politicians really that ignorant to even contemplate a law like this? Do you know what kind of fight they would have on their hands? Responsible dog owners consider their dogs to be part of their family.. almost like a child! It's like banning a certain race because they are known to cause more violence! Would we do that? NO. Why should innocent dogs be killed because of pure ignorance?? Look at the photo above, does he LOOK vicious?? Give me a break!!!! (and yes, that is mine!)

Please, PLEASE sign this petition against the Pit Bull Ban! These innocent dogs don't have a voice and we have to fight to save their lives! I will fight to the death if anyone ever tried to take my dog away to kill him! Please sign: OHIO PIT BULL BAN PETITION

Myths Of Pit Bulls

Randomness...

Ok, I have lots of randomness to blab about tonight.. first of all, I've just been put on Prozac for my manic depression.. Oh yay! Been reading lots on Prozac.. both good and bad.. I've only been on it for 4 days now, so I just have to wait it out and see how my brain reacts to it.. wish me luck! I'm a bit scared and hopeful at the same time. Scared that I could have some of the bad side effects such as night terrors, debilitating headaches, insomnia.. etc. and hopeful that I can be one of those people that says that Prozac has made my life soo much better! It's just a waiting game now!

Anyway, so last July I signed up for an online school to get my Associate's Degree to be a Veterinarian Technician. I've always had a huge heart and lots of compassion for animals and have always felt that this is something I want to do with my life; help animals. Finally at the ripe old age of ** I decided to take the plunge. So far, so good.. the subjects have been very interesting: Animal Restraint, Physical Examination.. etc.. Then I got the above book for my next class. "Understanding Computers. Today and Tomorrow". All 701 pages of it (not including the reference pages). I was a bit surprised when I got this book. Seems a bit daunting that I have to read every frickin page of it.. especially when it is something that I really am not interested in and don't care to learn about! *sigh*. Im on page 52 so far! Yay me! I'm soo NOT excited about this.. but all I can do is read and get through it so that I can move on to the more interesting stuff! I know it will be worth it in the end.. and you never know.. I may just learn something!!

On another note.. I'm thinking of doing a "random photo" each week. I will post a random pic once a week.. will be of ANYTHING random in my life whether it be my kids, my pets, my husband, moi, something that we have done, something in our house.. WHO Knows!? May be a bit interesting though.. stay posted!

Also, I'm going to be updating my blog friends links thingy over there... (lol).. soo leave me a comment if u are interested in trading links with me.. As long as your blog has something interesting or entertaining to say then I would love to trade links with u!! Ciao.

Christmas time already!!

Oh yes.. it is coming quickly! Seems like just yesterday I was complaining about the HEAT.. now it is getting colder every day, the kids have new winter coats and yes.. soon it will be time to put up Christmas decorations!! I used to hate the Holidays when I was younger but now that I have children, I love it! The part I don't love is not being able to buy all of the things that my kids want. I dont want to spoil them with everything they want but it would be nice to be able to get them a decent amount of things.. The money is not there, though. My 5 year old thinks that Santa will bring him anything he wants.. Thinks that price doesnt matter because it's FREE from Santa!! How do you explain to a 5 year old that it is not free.. or tell him WHY Santa didnt bring him what he wants?? I mean, he is the type that will really get his heart broken if he doesnt get what he asks for.. he will think Santa doesn't like him or something!.. When I was a kid, my mom told me that Santa sent her a bill for the presents and not to ask for a lot because she couldn't afford a lot. I told my son not to ask for a lot because Santa doesn't have a lot of room in his sleigh because he has so many other kids to give toys to! It's times like these when I really hate being poor. I see other kids that have piles and piles of gifts under the tree and we can't afford much at all for our kids.

What really sucks now is that most stores have gotten rid of layaway! I guess they think that everyone in the world has Credit Cards and can just charge it now and pay later.. Not everyone has a credit card! Kmart is the only place that offers layaway now.. so I think the other retail stores are going to be losing a lot of our business this year! It's so much easier to make bi-weekly payments than to have it all at once! This sounds like an advertisement for Kmart but it really isn't! I think they are very smart for bringing it back because a lot of people depend on that at Christmas time. I think Walmart made a big mistake by getting rid of it!.. Yes, Im poor white trash and I do shop at walmart! heh.

The present economy and our future!

Wow the economy has really gone on a downward spiral since I last wrote in here.. I guess maybe other people are feeling it a bit more than I am just because, well, Im used to being broke so it's nothing new to me! Seems everyone is struggling now, jobs are harder to get because everyone is looking for a job. So many places are laying off and like always, just in time for the holidays.. These corporate rich people sure know the best time to lay people off and ruin the holidays for the entire family, eh?

I am quite happy though with the gas prices going back down.. My husband told me today that the gas station by his job is down to $1.97! I never thought I would see prices that low again considering that just 2 months ago it was over $4.00! It's nice to be able to fill up for half of the price now.. I just hope it stays this way for awhile!

I hear a lot of people talk about how hard they are struggling right now.. that they can't pay their bills or can't afford food or this or that.. Like I said, I'm used to it, so it's not that much of a big deal to ME, lol.. I guess some people don't realize that there IS help out there!! Maybe people just have too much pride to ask for assistance but sometimes you need to swallow your pride and ask for it.. your family needs it!! If you are considered low income you can get help for food and healthcare. I dont know about in other states, but right now in Ohio Social Services is helping out with a lot of things! If you have a family of 5 and make less than $4000 a month you can qualify for gas cards totalling $400 or $800 if two adults in the home are working full time! That is a lot of gas!! They also have a utility assistance program where they are offering to help up to $700 towards utility bills! If you only have one vehicle in the family and it needs repairs they will help with that as well! There is all kinds of help out there, you just have to find out! We have all paid taxes and we deserve to get the help when we need it.. I guess if you make too much money and don't qualify then stop whining about it because there are people A LOT worse off than you are!

People also might not know about other utility assistance programs. Most electric companies and gas companies have the PIP (Percentage of Income Program) which is where they take your income, consider how many family members you have.. etc and they figure out what they think you can afford each month for utilities. It is usually much lower than what your normal bill would be! Also, HEAP (Home Energy Assistance Program) helps out considerably with heating bills in the winter time! If you are struggling, get the help that you need!

I dont know what the future holds for this country. I think it's a bit scary. Im really tired of hearing about Obama.. being called "the black jesus" and the new "messiah".. are you freaking kidding me?? Isn't it blasphemy to call anyone else Jesus or the Messiah?? I find it a bit frightening to think this is what people are considering this man to be!.. I don't like getting into political conversations. I think he has some good ideas, but I dont trust the man, to be honest... but apparently everyone else believes every word out of his mouth as if it were the bible. I think that is just wrong in itself to feel that way about anyone!

I know I might anger some people with this, but damn it, I am soo sick of hearing about how everyone is crying in happiness or celebrating because a black man has made it to the presidency. Do you people forget that his mother is WHITE and his father is black?? So he is BOTH white and black! His black father left him and his white mother raised him.. then his white grandparents raised him.. so he was essentially raised white! I dont want to make this a racial issue but damn, I'm tired of hearing about it!!!.. I HOPE that he follows through with all of his promises, but something inside of me tells me that his followers are in for a BIG let down. .. and that is exactly what they are.. his followers.. scary.

Another update.. Im back, I hope!!

A lot has happened since my last post in here.. I will try to make it as short as possible!

My husband and I got back together again the end of August.. we have our first marriage counseling appointment next week (eeek).. We are going to fight to make things work and keep our family together.. We have been through too much together to just throw it all away.. and I do agree that we should not give up until we can honestly say that we have tried EVERYTHING!!....

When we got back together we moved to a tiny little town in Ohio.. a beautiful town, but tiny, lol. Our kids are all preschool age.. The main preschool here is filled up with a waiting list.. and the other one charges like $120 a month PER kid! For preschool!!! No way am I paying almost $400 a month for freakin' preschool! We got them into another preschool in another town.. about 25 minutes away.. soo now we have to drive them to school and back.. 25 miles there and back.. So that is taking some time out my day (not to mention gas out of my car) but I know they need it before Kindergarten!

I'm also still doing my texting job.. I try to work as much as I can throughout every single day to hit the bonuses that they offer. AND over the summer I enrolled in an online college! I'm studying to be a Veterinary Technician (basically a Vet Nurse) which I am VERY excited about! I chose an online school so that I could do it at my own pace.

Soo with driving the kids back and forth to school, working, doing my own school work, housework and taking care of the kids when they are not in school (since preschool is only half days).. I had pretty much given up on blogging which I was very sad about because I love writing so much!! ...

Today I went back and read through my blogs, trying to decide how to squeeze time in to write and I think I have come up with an idea! Night time is always very slow for texting.. Im usually browsing other sites while I work (it "dings" when there is a msg waiting to be answered).. soo instead of browsing other sites Im going to spend that down time blogging! YAY!!.. Im going to post THIS in all of my blogs and next week I will start blogging in each one individually!

Im also going to work on re-doing the layouts when I get a chance.. remember to feel free to contact me about trading links!!

My long hiatus...

I'm posting this in all 3 of my blogs. I first want to apologize for my long hiatus from the blogosphere. If you have read my past posts I had mentioned that my husband and I were having some problems again. Well, we separated again on May 17. Not to go into TOO much detail but I honestly think he has some attachment issues. I have done a lot of research on it and it all makes so much sense now. What happened this time is the same thing that happened in 2006. The same exact pattern except this time he is trying to get help. The separation was his decision. He wanted to have a "mutual separation" so that we both have some time to ourselves to work on ourselves and then IF/when we get back together get into marriage counseling immediately. ...

The past month and a half has been VERY hard for me. I feel like I am re-living this nightmare all over again. I have so many emotions running through my head. I've been spending most of my time either working as much as possible, spending time with my kids, researching attachment disorder and working on my OWN things that I want to change within myself. Right now I am also looking into taking some online courses for Veterinary Technician. I have no idea what the future holds for me and my family. I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Funny thing is, that's what my husband told me the first time this happened in 2006! I'm worried about having the time to work and trying to go to school both.. but I think it will help me to occupy my mind and it will make me feel better for doing something GOOD for my kids and myself to help us have a brighter future!

I haven't really been into the mood for blogging until recently. I am going to figure out some kind of schedule so that I can start blogging again on a regular basis! Just be patient with me. I have not forgotten about my blogs.. just am going through a very difficult time in my life right now! xo

Economic Stimulus Payment

Have been sent out earlier than expected. They were originally supposed to start being deposited into bank accounts on May 2 but they started on April 28th and from what I have read ALL of the direct deposits will be made by the end of this week!

So what does everyone think about this payment. Do you think it's REALLY going to help?? It might for ... a few days. To be honest, my husband and I are considered to be low income and using the calculator on the IRS website we are only getting back $1500 even though they SAY the married couples can get $1200 plus $300 each child, which would equal $2100 for us. I was a little disappointed when I saw the estimate but it's better than nothing RIGHT? We will pay a month of rent, buy the kids some summer clothes, fix a few things on my van..and then be poor again.

I also find it VERY ironic that the first day the money starts to be deposited the gas prices SKY ROCKET to almost $4.00 a gallon? Does anyone else think this is a big coincidence?? I think someone is trying to take advantage of the little people who will be getting some of this money! So, whatever is left from bills is going straight into the gas tanks. The little people just keep getting screwed harder and harder by this country! The economy is getting worse and worse. People HAVE to get to get to work to make a paycheck but it is costing half of our paycheck just for gas! That is absolutely ridiculous! How is anyone supposed to be able to survive this way??

What it's like to be poor...

Imagine growing up as a child having to without things. Not because your parent doesn't want you to be spoiled but because your parent can't afford to buy you things that you want. You have to wear home made or second hand clothing because your mother is a single mother who does not get child support and can not afford to buy you a lot of new clothes. You have never had any sort of name brand clothing. Even the toys you have to play with are "store" brand and not name brand.

Remember when Cabbage Patch Kids were big back in the 1980's and they were around $40.00 a piece (which is a lot NOW in my opinion for a doll!). They were so beautiful and so cute. All of your friends had one. You begged and begged you mother for one but she just could not afford it. She went to a yard goods store and purchased a doll pattern that she sewed together and stuffed with that cottony stuffing stuff (lol, whatever it is called) with what was supposed to be a Cabbage Patch Kids look-a-like face, but it was far from! You were disappointed when you saw the doll but yet you didn't want to hurt your mothers feelings because you knew how much work she put into it so you acted as if you liked it. Deep down inside you were hurt and disappointed but yet felt badly for feeling hurt and disappointed!

As a teenager you wanted the stylish name brand clothing but you knew your mother could not afford it so you went with the store brand as always. You never had name brand shoes. The only kind of shoes you had were the $10.00 Kmart brand shoes that fell apart quickly but you still walked around in those shoes even when the soles were falling off! You saw the other kids your age going on fun vacations with their families or going fun places with their friends but you never got to do those sorts of things because your family was poor. A lot of kids get cars for their 16th birthday and get to drive to school, but you don't. You have to share the family car which was difficult to do since mom was working all of the time!

Now turn it the other way around. You are the adult now. You have these beautiful children in front of you but you hate yourself for not being able to give them the things that you wanted as a child. You and your spouse work all of the time but the cost of living is so high and jobs pay so poorly that you have to struggle from paycheck to paycheck. You are not even sure if you will have enough money for gas to get back and forth to work every day until the next pay day. Buying your children a toy that they want here and there is usually completely out of the question because there is just not enough money in your pocket! They are good kids, well behaved kids and they deserve to have the extras once in awhile but you just can't do it. You look into their eyes and see the same pain that you went through as a child but you don't know how to change it! Kids grow so fast and constantly need bigger clothing or bigger shoes and you struggle just to be able to squeeze that in there some how! You are constantly getting collection letters in the mail that you can't pay. Disconnect notices on utilities that you HAVE to find a way to pay even if it means borrowing it from someone else or asking for help. Your husband works 6 days a week and you work as much as possible but it just never seems to be enough. You try to better yourself. You try to get yourself somewhere in the world but it seems you just constantly get pushed right back down. Every day is a constant struggle. You hope your children will learn from you and better their lives at a young age..but yet your know that your mother wished the same thing for you!

You look at other people who are younger than you and have nice houses and nice vehicles and you envy them. Some of them have just been handed everything for their entire life. Others have worked for what they have and just got a lucky break along the way. You wish you could be like them and you wonder why life has held you back and why you can't get ahead no matter how hard you try to charge ahead. Sometimes you just want to give up trying. You feel embarassed for people to see your tiny little house or your noisy old car. You are a good person but it just seems like being a good person is not good enough to get anywhere in this world.

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I wrote this from my own personal experience. I am one of the countries low income citizens! You probably never would have known it from my blog, but I am. My husband and I work our asses off every day just to GET by. We don't have a savings in the bank to rely on. We don't have credit cards to use in case of emergency. We don't have family that we can call on to help in an emergency. We are just surviving day by day, paycheck to paycheck. It's a hard world to survive in these days...and with the cost of living going up and gas prices costing an arm, a leg and both butt cheeks it is making it even more difficult just to survive. Our kids miss us because we are always working and don't have much time to spend with them. We miss them, too..but we don't have a choice. We have to survive somehow.

Welfare is not a joke any longer!

Isn't this how MOST people feel? All of the jokes about people getting their welfare checks or using their foodstamps?? It's funny, right?? Do any of you who make jokes about the welfare system even KNOW how it works??

I don't know about other states, but here in Ohio the welfare system is VERY strict. Welfare is to help people who are having a problem finding a job OR people who HAVE jobs but still can't support their families with what they make. If you apply for assistance and you do not have a job you will ONLY receive benefits IF you attend the "job find" program, which is 5 days a week, usually from 8-9 am to 3-4 pm. All day, every day! In this class they teach you how to build a good resume and how to approach employers about possible employment with the company! After they teach you all of that then they make you go through a phone book all day long and call companies asking if they are hiring and if they will give you an interview. If after 30 days you have not found a job you will be forced to do volunteer work for them in exchange for the benefits you receive. IF you get a job and still fall under the poverty level the amount of benefits you receive will go down depending on how much you earn.

Welfare is not for "lazy" people who just want to sit on their ass and get a paycheck every month. In fact, they are VERY strict about cash assistance. They do NOT give cash assistance except for extreme cases!! The main things they help with is food and medical insurance. The only people who are allowed to NOT work are single mothers with children under 5 years of age. (which by the way I feel is really NOT fair considering that there are A LOT of single moms out there who work!..and then a lot of times they make the fathers pay back the welfare system on top of child support because the mom wont work..but that's another post, lol)

Most people who receive assistance these days DO work. Most of them work FULL time but most jobs do not pay enough to support a family. The cost of living is going up but most companies do not pay more! A lot of full time, laborous jobs only start out at minimum wage..which means that a lot of people ARE busting their asses EVERY day doing hard physical labor just to earn a pathetically small paycheck. I'm sure they work a lot harder than you do sitting in your posh little office making $75,000 a year!

I hope some of you will start thinking before making snotty little comments about people who receive government assistance. They do not allow people to "sit on their ass and get welfare" anymore. They are there to help people that are struggling to support their family! Some of you don't truly know what it is like to STRUGGLE and bust your hump every single day for almost NOTHING. Just be thankful for what you have instead of bashing everyone else!!

My next post will be about what it's like to live a poor life and to truly struggle!!

Blogs...the good and the BAD!

I REALLY enjoy reading other blogs! I am a member of a few blog traffic exchanges and I like to skim through each blog as I wait for the ticker to count down. If I like a blog I will add it to my blogmarks and usually end up linking to them on this or one of my other blogs! I like blogs that come from the heart. Blogs that are written about every day run of the mill things that people go through in life! I like blogs that really grab my attention and will keep me reading all the way through the post and wanting to go through the archives!!

There are some blogs that just BORE the CRAP out of me!! For instance, political blogs. Ugh. I don't like politics, never have, never will and I certainly don't want to sit and read about the same old garbage that is on the news 10 times a day! *snore* I appreciate that there are alot of people into politics and such but it is not for me and like I said, the crap is on the news all day long, I don't need to read about it, too!!

I also find it extremely annoying when people have blogs that are supposed to be written from another point of view! I am meaning people that have blogs that are supposedly written from their 6 month old baby's point of view! As if an adult REALLY knows what is going on inside an infants mind and as if a 6 month old could actually come up with thoughts like that! Or how about all of the million cat blogs out there that are supposed to be written from the CAT'S point of view? Are you freakin' serious people?? Crap like that really makes me roll my eyes! I mean, really, is your life THAT boring that you have time to sit down and come up with some of this crap?? Sheesh!!

I also don't care too much for music on blogs..the only reason is because when I am surfing the net I normally have my OWN music playing and it's a real P.I.T.A. when some other crap music (or someone talking) starts to play over my own music and then it turns into a monotonous mess!

If anyone is thinking about making a blog, atleast try to make it interesting and half ways thought provoking! Give me something that will make me stick to the screen even when the timer on my traffic exchange thingy is on zero!! lol

Link exchange??

Don't forget, if you want to exchange links with me then just leave me a comment here and I will add you to my blog friends list over there ---------->

Please make sure that your blog has something in common with mine, otherwise I wont add yours!

I have just added some new links to my favorites and blog friends list so be sure to check them out!

For the bullies out there!

I found this video lastnight and loved it! This is for all of the people like me who were tormented and abused as a child growing up! I'm not talking about physical abuse I'm talking about mental abuse from classmates throughout school. I am living PROOF that this kind of abuse can leave lasting effects on a person. I am 30 years old and still have a horrible self image and very low self esteem because of being told as a child and teenager that I was ugly and fat and not worth anything!

People need to start teaching their children from an early age to treat everyone equally! Don't judge others based on skin color, hair color, height, weight, or appearance in general! We should all treat others with the same respect we want to be treated with!!

Impatient People!

Ok, I admit I am not the most patient of people! Alright, I have very short patience when it comes to certain things but some people are just over the top!!

If you have been reading my blog for long you know that I have 3 children. My oldest is 4 and my twins are 3. My oldest has been in preschool since September and my twins just started with him a few weeks ago. The bus comes and picks them all up in front of our house.

Preschool buses are different than regular school buses. With children this age they are required by law to put the kids in safety restraints...a.k.a. seat belts. They aren't just one lap belt they are a bunch of buckles that go across the kids chest and stomach. With three kids it takes a few minutes to get them all buckled in and the parent is the one required to do it!

There have been times before with just my four year old where people have gotten pissed off because they had to wait 2 freaking minutes for me to get my child buckled in. Yesterday, a guy in a truck started laying on the horn yelling things out his window and as the bus pulled away and the guy drove past us he flipped us the bird!

Give me a break people! You can see that these are SMALL children getting on the bus! It's not like I'm just standing there gossiping with the bus driver! I am strapping my kids in which is REQUIRED by law! You are not going to DIE if you have to wait 3 damned minutes while I get it done! Do you REAAAALLYY have the right to flip me off and yell obscenities at me because I am doing what the law requires for my childs safety?? Is a few minutes of your time more important than MY kids' safety? I don't freakin' think so!! All of you tough guys run your mouth but none of you have the balls to say it to my husbands face who is usually out there with me, too!

UGH! Some people just piss me the F off!!!!!!!!!

...Ok, I'm done now..thanks for reading!

The floods!

Im sure that some of you have heard about the flooding going around in this area of the country! The town we live in is known to flood as it has two major rivers that run through it! I have lived here less than a year and this is the second time I have seen it flood personally and this has been the worst flooding in awhile! Luckily our house is far enough away from the river that we haven't had any problems from it.

I do have one rant for the day..just an opinion, lol. Like I said, the rivers here are KNOWN to flood atleast once every year, usually more than that. Some of these people that were forced out of their homes are crying for fema help and boohooing about it. I want so badly to say to them that it is their own damned fault for living in a home right next to the river that you KNOW will flood! DUH! I would love to have a river view but it's not worth having to deal with flood damage every year! I don't really feel sorry for these people as it is their own fault for living there!

Anyway, here are some pics of the damage in Defiance, Ohio.

Hating Life.....

Here we go again. Been awhile again since my last post in here. I just haven't been in the right frame of mind to post in any of my blogs..or do too much of anything lately. I'm having some problems in my personal life again. My husband and I are having problems again. I've mentioned in here a few times that we separated in 2006 and got back together at the end of April 2007. Things are starting to happen all over again and I am..basically..flippin' the F out! I am scared to death about what is going to happen to us. I don't want my marriage to be over. I don't know what is going on with my husband again but he is not acting himself again, just like before. I've sunk back down into my depression. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I am barely able to do much of anything apart from making myself work every day for money. I am freaking out because I can't go through this again! I love him so much and this pain is killing me! Just be patient with me and keep your fingers crossed that things will work themselves out and I can be back to posting in here every week!

Spear Them! Spear Them!

I've tried to stay away from commenting on celebrities too much but there is something that has been on my mind for awhile and I really want to post it! The whole Spears sisters thingy.

Ok, let's start with big sis Britney first. The girl obviously has some mental problems but part of me wonders if some of it is just a put on for the paparazzi because obviously her music career has finally (and thankfully) come to a crashing end. She can't act to save anybody! What is she here for? Who knows? But she sure knows how to keep herself in the spotlight. Just lastnight I saw footage of her and her body guard/boyfriend looking at pregnancy tests. So either, A. it was just a put on or B. she is really THAT stupid to even think about getting pregnant again. This is a case where the courts really should force someone to be on birth control! Britney should not have any more children, EVER! I just read an article on her quoting her to say that she would die for her children. If that was true then she would be doing everything in her power to get custody or even visitations of her children back! Instead, she is out there partying every night and going shopping at 3 am. She puts on a show for the paparazzi with her "multiple personalities". She is just absolutely pathetic! I never thought she was a good singer in the first place so I'm quite happy to see her career crumble. I feel really sorry for her boys. They are both beautiful children. It's pretty sad when K-Fed is said to be a better parent than her! What are these kids going to think when they grow up? "my mom was a slut and a druggie that showed her crotch to the entire world..I'm so proud of her!". Give me a break. Honestly, I think that girl is going to be dead sooner or later (probably sooner than later).

Now onto little sis Jamie Lynn. The world is screaming with, "oh poor Jamie Lynn".."she is shocked!"..blah, blah, blah. Give me another big f'n break. First of all, she can't be too shocked. If she knew she was having unprotected sex than she must be really freakin' ignorant to be "shocked" at her pregnancy. The tabloids read that she is so shocked and scared! UGH! Come on. The girl is loaded. She wont have any responsibilities. She is able to hire a nanny to take care of the baby and she can afford a maid to clean up after the baby! BOO F'N HOO! Maybe she should have kept her legs closed and then she wouldn't be in this situation. I guess that must run in the Spears family..not being able to keep your legs closed! How about paying more attention to REAL people? REAL teenagers who are truly having a hard time. There are millions of teenage mothers out there. Most of them are poor and struggling just to buy diapers for their babies. But ohhh no, let's boo hoo about poor little Jamie Lynn getting knocked up!

I am so sick of hearing about these two little twits! They got themselves into these situations but yet they are still earning millions and millions of money because of it! How is that right?? How about paying millions of dollars to real life people that struggle day to day not stupid little spoiled brats like these two!

My 2008 Resolutions

Ok, so we are almost two weeks into the new year. I've learned so much in 2007 and changed so many things about myself. I want to continue all of my work in 2008! Here are a few things that I am resolving to do this year.

Continuing to eat healthier and be more active. Whether I lose weight or not, I just want to be healthier and these two things will help regardless of the number on the scales!

Continuing to work on myself. To work on changing the things that I don't like about myself and learning to love the things that I can't change about myself.

Learning to control my stress level. I know a lot of things that happen in life are out of our control but I need to learn to deal with them better. I have taken after my mother and stress out too much when something doesn't go right or the way it's planned. I've realized that no matter what comes our way we always get through it somehow and stressing over something isn't going to fix it or change anything and it's not healthy for me!!

Cherishing my family more. I do cherish my family, but I think sometimes I take them for granted. I always used to complain about this and that but when I sit down and think about things, I am really very lucky! I have a hot husband who loves me for me. He thinks that I am the most beautiful woman in the world and he will do whatever it takes to make me happy and to smile. I have three beautiful kids that are very well behaved (atleast in public, lol..not so much at home!). I need to show them how much I love them every single day!

Learning to be happy! I have spent the majority of my life hating myself, hating my life, hating everything and everyone around me. I am tired of living that way. I am tired of being an angry, hateful depressed person! Even though we don't have a lot of material things I have a great family that loves me and a lot of people would be jealous of that! I want to live my life with a smile on my face not wanting to choke everyone! heh heh

Possibly going back to school? Not sure for what yet, most likely something in the medical field or animal field. Just depends on what happens this year. My husband starts taking classes at the end of this month..it's only a 3 month course and we will see what happens after that.

Spending more time blogging! I envy bloggers that can post every day! I just don't have the time to spare for that but I wish I did! I want to start giving THIS blog a more personal feel! I will still post my rants whenever I feel like it but will also post more about my personal life. Maybe even put up some pics and videos of things that go on in my life! I like reading peoples' personal blogs, I think it's interesting..or else I'm just nosey!

Comment me and tell me what some of your resolutions are!

A new year has arrived!

When a new year arrives I am always dreaming about what kind of things the upcoming year has to hold for me! Lastnight I was thinking of the year 2007 and what it held for me! When I sat down and thought about it, a whole lot has happened in 2007!

Let's see....

My husband and I separated in 2006. Last year on New Year's Eve (well, actually a few minutes after midnight) my husband showed up at my house. He drove an hour (sober) to try and "prove" to me that he was ready to work on things between us. I spent many months waiting for that moment to come!

On January 1st, 2007 I started on a weight loss journey. Although I don't have a lot lost to show for it, I still learned a lot! I did lose 25 lbs and am not ready to give up on it just yet! I did learn a lot about myself during that journey and although I got off of the track for awhile, I am jumping right back on!

I jumped head first into the world of blogging! I started this blog along with my other 2 blogs! One is about working from home and the other is about my weight loss journey.

At the end of April 2007 my kids and I moved here with my husband. It was one of the happiest days of my life being back with my soul mate and best friend again. I never, ever want to be separated from him again! It was also a little bittersweet because I am now so far away from my mother. Ok, it's only an hour but my mother and I have always been very close and have never been this far apart. I know it was very hard for her, too

In May 2007 my husband and I took a trip to New York City! I have so many memories from that trip. Even though it was a short stay it will always stay in my mind! I got to see a couple of my long time friends whom I hadn't seen in years and spend some great bonding time there with my husband. We saw so many beautiful and amazing things there.

In September 2007 my first born started preschool. It was a big day in his life and I can't believe how much he has changed since starting school! He's not my baby any more!

My twins turned 3 years old. They have changed so much, too. They talk so much more now. I love watching my kids grow! They are going to start preschool sometime this month, too!

My Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer this year. Even though she puts on a good face we know that she is not doing well. She has cancer spots all over her legs and can't hardly move around on her own anymore. The entire family spent Christmas with her all together this year as most of us feel pretty secure in saying that this will most likely be her last Christmas with us.

I really made an effort to find my father. I saw his name and address printed in my hometown newspaper. Atleast, I think it was him. It took me awhile to get up the guts and the right words to send him a letter. I made it short and simple. I told him who I was, who my mother was and that I believed he was my father. I told him that if he had any interest in knowing me to write me back. I also asked that if it wasn't the right person that he atleast be nice enough to let me know so I wont be left wondering. Well, I've been left wondering. That was a few months ago and I have yet to hear anything.

I had the best Christmas ever this year thanks to my wonderful husband. We have been through a lot together this year. We have learned a lot about ourselves and each other. We have learned how to deal with each other in a better way to stop us from having so many petty arguments. I have learned to let go of things instead of pondering on them to the point of making myself sick. I have learned to forgive and to learn from the whole experience. My husband has spent the year trying to show me how much he really does love me and how sorry he is for leaving. We have both learned to just look forward to the future and try not to remember the bad things from the past.

I also made a few friends throughout the year, too.

I've gotten a couple of new tattoos this year, lol!

..and there is my recap of the year 2007. I'm sure I have probably left a few things out, but I've remembered the important things!

My next post will be what I am looking forward to in 2008 and what I hope to accomplish along the way!