Pouring My Heart Out Again

When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I knew this would be my last pregnancy because 3 was my limit. I hoped, wished, and prayed that I would get at least one girl because I wanted a little girl of my own. My mother and I have always been so close and I wanted that same relationship with a daughter of my own. The day the ultrasound tech told me that one of the twins was a girl, I was so happy that I cried.

She is six years old now and I love her, but I really don't like her very much. Every day is a difficult day with her. She whines about everything, she doesn't do what she is told, she does things that she is told not to do, she talks back and gets an attitude with us when she is told to do something. She intentionally tries to make everyone mad; her brothers, her father, and me. She's annoying and I feel like the most horrible mother in the world for saying this, but I don't like to be around her. It's a constant struggle with her. I even talked to her ped. about it once,  he asked me a bazillion questions and he didn't think there was anything wrong with her, but just that she wants attention because she's the youngest, the smallest, and the only girl. I don't enjoy being around her.

I have tried everything with her. I have tried time outs, taking toys away, spanking, taking away privileges, sitting down and talking with her, but nothing works. She is still in that self centered world of hers where she thinks the entire world revolves around her, and she acts as if she just doesn't care about anyone else. It's all about HER. I do think a lot of it is for attention and I've tried to give her some one on one time. The last time my mom and I took her on a "girls shopping day", she complained the whole time, "this is boring".. "come onnnn", so she ruined it. When she IS good, which is rare, I try to give her extra hugs and kisses and tell her how proud I am of her to try and reinforce the good behavior. None of it works. I'm at the end of my rope.

This situation makes me so sad. I wanted a daughter that I could be close with, but I don't even like her most of the time. She's not fun to be around. When we try to do fun things, she just whines or acts up and makes it miserable. Her brothers are no angels, but she is just so much worse. I want to enjoy spending time with her. I want to be able to enjoy doing things with her, but she makes it miserable.

I'm worried about the future. I'm afraid she's going to grow up hating me, and that I'm going to resent her. I don't want to have that sort of fucked up relationship with her. I want it fixed but don't know what else to do. She cries when she gets punished for something, but then will just keep doing it over and over. I'm thinking about not giving her her xmas gifts, but leaving her a note from santa saying she has to be good to "earn" them because she hasn't been good. We've tried using the "santa is watching you" thing, but she doesn't care. I think I need super nanny to come and save me. Sometimes I just break down and cry.

Bad kids or bad parents??

My oldest child is 5 years old, will turn 6 in early October. My husband and I do our best to teach our kids manners, to be respectful of us and others and to be nice to everyone. I have to say, I am really shocked when I see how some parents let their kids act!

There have been a few instances that have just happened in the last month that just make me shake my head and wonder what the Hell these parents are thinking??

The first one was last month when we took our children to the Neil Armstrong Space Museum. We were having a great time there until we were in the little theatre watching the 25 minute movie. This whole herd of children and two women came in and ofcourse, sat right behind us! The kids were being loud and disrespectful to everyone in the theatre. Talking in normal voices, kicking chairs.. etc. What did the women do? Not a freakin' thing! Just let them act how they were acting. We were glad when the movie was over and we could get away from these brats, or so we thought! At the end of the tour there is a little area for kids to play with different simulators and other fun things. These other kids were running around like monkeys that just broke out of the zoo!! Running and screaming every where. Pushing in front of other kids and adults! Our kids could not even enjoy the fun because of these little brats. Again, what were the mothers doing?? Just chit chatting with each other letting their kids run wild annoying every one else there! What were my kids doing?? Playing quietly however they kept stopping to watch these kids running all over the freakin' place! I made sure to say QUITE loudly to my children, "thank you for being good and not acting like these little brats". Both women looked at me but neither one had anything to say! We got out of there, hoping to escape again in the gift shop when guess who shows up? Yep, those brats again; running around the entire gift shop, pushing in front of other people, being loud and obnoxious. One kid was messing with the tv on the wall and the mother didn't even pay any attention until my husband said, "look at the kid messing with the TV and the parent's not even paying attention". She obviously heard my husband as she then looked up and tells the kid to get away from the TV. Ugh!

The second incident was a week or two later. My mother wanted to take the kids to get ice cream. We went to this little ice cream shop that has picnic tables outside. As soon as we sit down, this whole army of middle school age soft ball players comes in. Oh My God. They were sooo freakin loud we couldn't even hear each other talk! They were yelling and screaming and cussing.. not giving a crap about the other guests there who were trying to enjoy their evening and ice cream! What were the parents and coaches doing?? Not a damned thing.. just chit chatting with each other ignoring what all the kids were doing!

These are not the only times I've seen behavior like this. I can't count the times I have been in public and witnessed young children running around like animals while their parents do absolutely nothing about it! I'm sure once these kids get older these parents are going to wonder why their kid wont listen to them and is out of control! Well, duh!! If they act like this as children how do you think they are going to act as teenagers??

My husband is covered with tattoos and I have quite a few myself. I listen to metal music and have piercings, some times I dye my hair funky colors. I'm sure some people look at us and think that we are freaks or losers or whatever stereotype they may have in their mind about us. Not to toot my own horn but I think we are doing a damned good job raising our kids so far! Yes, ofcourse like any child, they do get crazy some times and do have their "bad" days but their bad days are far better than some other kids' good days! My kids are polite and respectful when out in public. They don't make fun of people or talk nasty to others. We have had strangers come up to us and tell us how well behaved our children are! I know some times I think MY kids are out of control and driving me crazy however after seeing the way other people's kids act, I am very proud of how my kids are. Hell, they are angels compared to some of these brats!

I really don't know what these parents are thinking when they let their kids act this way. Can't really blame the kids for it if they know they can get away with it! It's the parent's responsibility to teach their children right from wrong. My oldest will start kindergarten next month and I'm scared to death! I'm worried that he is going to pick up some of these bad habits and think that he can act that way at home. However, if he THINKS he can act that way at home he will quickly remember that mommy and daddy do not allow our kids to disrespect US or anyone else.