I'm Happy In My Skin!

Something has been bothering me for awhile now and I haven’t been sure whether I should write about it or not, but I’m gonna! I’m tired of not being able to be proud of my skin color!! There is such a double standard when it comes to race, and I do believe that racism can be against any skin color. Why is it perfectly ok for someone to say “black pride”, but if I were to say “white pride” I would be labeled a nazi or racist? Why is it ok for there to be a black entertainment channel, but no white entertainment? *gasp* oh no, they couldn’t do that, THAT would be racist!!

Why is it perfectly acceptable to have a movie out called, “For Colored Girls” or a TV show called, “Black Girls Rock”. Could you imagine the hysteria if a tv show came out called, ‘White Girls Rule!” OMG it would be fucking racist!!

Why can’t I be proud of my white skin?? I like my pretty white skin quite well, really, but why should I have to be afraid to say that I like being white because a lot of people would take it as me being racist? What kind of bullshit is that?

I’m tired of people using the race card for everything. If someone doesn’t get their way, usually the first words out of their mouth is, “it’s because I’m black”. Hm, no, it’s because you weren’t qualified or because someone did a better job than you!

A friend of mine tried to put her daughter in a better, smaller school but she was turned down because she was white, and they needed more non-white kids in their school. What? Really? Being turned down because her skin is too white? If a kid was turned down because he was brown or black, it would be on the national news! OMG Racism!

I’m saying it loud and proud, I am proud to be white!! This does not mean that I am racist or that I don’t like people of other skin color; I’m just happy with my own skin color! Get over it!

Fawk Your Friday!

I saw this last week and knew I had to get in on this and maybe make it a regular thing??

My fawk yous of the week...

Fawk You Dr. Beetlejuice (that's not his real name, it just sounds like that) for taking two months to turn in the paperwork to worker's comp. that my husband has been waiting for. How about YOU go 2 fuckin months with NO paycheck or any money coming in!? and while I'm here, fawk your bitchy ass receptionists and nurses that act like snobby little twats whenever they answer the phone. You just lost all of our family's business for being an incompetent fuckwad.

Fawk You Algebra!! This is my first week of College Algebra and I think I'm going to lose my mind! My professor goes so fast you can't stay with her or even understand what she's doing. If you ask a question, she gets snappy and says she doesn't have time to go over it again, even though she takes a 30 minute break when she tells us the break is only 10 minutes. The whole freakin class is back waiting on your snappy ass. Fawk you for not letting us use our notes and expecting us to know 4 chapters of formulas, steps, and rules by heart after 2 days for a quiz.

Fawk You Algebra Quiz! For making me fail you!

Fawk You Hormones!! Just because Aunt Flow is on her way, does not mean that you flippin hormones can overtake my brain and make me cry at every little stupid ass thing! STOP IT!!!!

...WOW, that felt good! I need to do this more often!!!

Like OMG Teen Moms!

My rant for the week is actually one that has been nagging at me in the back of my head for awhile now. Is it suddenly “cool” to be a teen mom? MTV started with the teen mom reality show. I did watch it a few times, but a lot of it was just annoying drama. Why did they do a show like this? Was it for $$$$? Or because they thought it would help stop kids from getting pregnant if they see all of the stress and hard times it can cause?

Now, all of the sudden, these teen moms are on the cover of 10 different magazines? Oh yeah, let’s show all of these kids that it’s ok to get knocked up, then you can be on a magazine cover and get rich quick, it’s so glamorous isnt it?

Seriously, I can’t imagine being a teen mom. I remember my teenage years, and it’s embarrassing how immature I was back then, but most teens are the same way. These days, kids sleep around and don’t worry about getting pregnant because it’s the cool thing to do. They don’t think about how much money it takes to have a baby. They don’t think about the sleepless nights, the stress of having a screaming crying baby that wont shut up, or having the responsibility that comes along with it. I had friends who were teenage moms. They missed out on a lot of things because they couldn’t go out whenever they wanted to. Some teens get pregnant and just pass the kid on to their own parents, so the grandparents end up stuck with a baby even though they should almost be done with raising their own.

I really don’t think most teenagers are mature enough to have babies. They don’t have the maturity needed to teach their kid to have respect for other people, teach them good morals, or to act right. Don’t get me wrong, I know a few girls that got their shit together, grew up, stayed in school and raised their kids the right way, but those girls are far and few between. I see too many teenage girls that are just running around going out every night passing their baby off to their parents, aunts, uncles, friends...etc., because they don’t want the full responsibility of taking care of the baby, they just want to dress the baby up in cute little clothes and show them off. No wonder some of these kids in school are so out of control and disrespectful, parents are getting younger and younger. All of these teenagers wanna take their clothes off without thinking of the responsibility that may be thrown upon them in 9 months.

So yeah, thanks MTV for making teenage parenting sooo kewl!! Like OMG!

Haven't Been Feelin It...

My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. I actually wrote a post in this blog about her back in 2009 Growing Old. I was dealing with a lot of stuff after she died such as helping with the funeral planning, then having to sort through her things. I've neglected this blog, and even though I've had a few rant ideas, I just wasn't "feelin" it, or I guess I just wasn't in the mood for it with so much else on my mind. What better opportunity to write about this subject than now? I'm talking about the subject of death. It kinda sucks, right? Well, for some it sucks but for others it is welcomed with open arms. My grandma lived for 97 1/2 years. Throughout her 70s and 80s she was very active, took care of her own home, did gardening..etc.. Not much kept her down. She really went down hill over the last year or so. She lost almost all of her eyesight. She loss the use of her legs. She had a painful infection in her leg that was so bad she couldn't even sleep in her bed; she had to sleep in a chair. She lost her independence. She lost control of everything in her life. She couldn't read, which is one thing I always remember her doing when I was a child. She always had a book she was reading or would spend an hour reading the newspaper because she read every single article. She couldn't watch TV. She couldn't even see the faces of her loved ones anymore. She just.. existed. She hated life and she asked God many times why she had to live so long. Is it fair to put someone through that? Someone who spent their life being so strong and independent? What did she do to deserve to suffer?

I can't wish her back. Why would I want her to come back and live in misery again? I can cherish the memories we had back but I'm glad her suffering is over. It just doesn't seem fair, especially when you have all of these young people dying who haven't even had the chance to truly live their life yet. People younger than me are dying. I guess life just really doesn't make sense some times and it really fuckin' sucks. This is part of the reason that I don't believe in God. I think if there really is a true "God", he wouldn't let people suffer so much. He wouldn't let good people suffer or little children die. My grandma was a good christian woman who dedicated her life to God, but what did that get her?? A lot of misery and suffering. Just not fair.

((This pic is of my grandma when she was 18.))

A Day I Will Never Forget..

I've decided to make this a serious post this time. I know that I'm a day late, but I've noticed many people reminiscing about that fateful September 11, 2001. Can you believe it has been that long?

At the time, I was working in an office. It was just a normal day until a customer kept ignoring me on the phone and said she was busy trying to listen to the news about a plane crashing into the world trade center? What?? No one had any clue what was going on, so the girl next to me and I turned on our radio. I guess we were the first ones in the entire company to let the news out. As soon as we found out what was going on, we told everyone else. It didn't take long until the owners went out and bought some big screen TVs and put them in the break room. Everyone was gathered around them watching what was going on. Some people were crying, others were in shock like wtf is going on?? Next thing I know, they called everyone in the building together. Everyone held hands and prayed and then they sent us home for the day. I remember being glued to the TV watching the smoke just rolling down the streets of NYC. It didn't seem real; it looked like it was some kind of sci-fi movie or something, not reality. I remember the people yelling and screaming in the streets. I remember a few days later crying watching all of the people there holding up photos of their loved ones that could not be found. Their mother, sister, husband, father, child.. where are they?? How horrible that must have been.

I had a friend who worked not far from the WTC. He said he sat in his office watching people jump off of the buildings. Can you imagine?? I remember watching it on TV, I can't imagine seeing it in real life.

In 2007, my husband and I went to NYC. This was my third trip there, but my first time since the attacks. Ground zero was very eerie. There were flowers and memorials left by other visitors. I don't know if I believe in "orbs" or not, but I took pics of a big wall memorial, and there were a bunch of orbs floating around. Out of 400 pics that I took in NYC, those were the only pics that had these floating lights in them? Coincidence?

My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones in the tragedy. That day will forever be engraved into my memory.

A memorial across from ground zero. I took this photo.